A Difficult Journey: Infertility- Big Day

Today is a big day for us and our infertility journey. It is post Lupron pelvic exam day. Yesterday I wasn’t feeling anxious or excited or much of anything really. Today I’m nervous! I want to be excited but I’m almost a nervous excited.

I’m scared they are going to start the exam and find that the Lupron didn’t work. I’m worried that I put myself through hell over the last 6 months for nothing. I’m unsure about what will happen if the pelvic exam comes back with results different than I want to hear. I’m excited to hear that the Lupron worked, that the hell I’ve been through was worth every second. I’m excited to hear that after two months on birth control we can start trying to have a baby on our own. I’m ready to know that the hard part of our journey is almost over!

Last night I was feeling like this appointment didn’t mark then end for us. Today I feel as if it’s a turning point (hopefully) in this journey. We are in a better position medically than we were  a few months ago.

Now fast forward to hours after my appointment since it was this morning at 10:15. We waited forever to see the doctor. I’ve never had to wait that long there so I was slightly annoyed and Andrew was ready to leave. When I finally went back my exam took only minutes. He asked if I was still waking up in the middle of the night to pee. You know what I haven’t been. The dang endometriosis was causing me to wake up by pressing on my bladder. Sign one that the Lupron worked. While looking at my cervix he said “cervix looks great. I can tell your estrogen is really low.” Sign two that the Lupron worked. During the pelvic exam he pushed on all the different places and in one place in particular wanted to know if I was having any discomfort. No! Sign three that the Lupron worked! Basically what I’m saying is all signs point in the direction of the Lupron working! Such a relief. The combination of surgery and 6 months of Lupron worked just as he said it would!

Now what’s the next step? Birth control for 8 weeks. It will help my hot flashes go away, yay! It will also bring my estrogen level back up. I started working on getting my groove back today! 🙂 haha! Once I finish my birth control I will go in for one more check up. My doctor says that I should start ovulating again by December possibly sooner.

That was the not so cool part about the appointment. It always seems like the time line I have in my head and his time line are months apart. When I say months I mean it! I have gone from thinking we could try to get pregnant immediately (before surgery), to thinking we could try in the summer (before Lupron treatment started), then thinking possibly fall (during treatment), and now, now it’s seeming like it will be winter. Ugh winter. I’m trying not to get hung up on the fact that this process takes a long time and focus more on the fact that we have the chance to get pregnant again. That’s what the game plan has been the entire time. I just need to be patient with the rest of the process. I need to take care of my body and just wait. There is nothing else I can do!

While I’m waiting on my body to get back to functioning like a typical 30 year old woman’s body should I’m going to focus more on the overall health of my body. Healthy clean eating, working out hopefully pain free and enjoying life! I know I say that a lot but the truth is I have to constantly tell myself that over and over. I have to remind myself of the goal and keep my thoughts positive and healthy.

You know something, I’m actually starting to get excited about the idea of being pregnant again! So many moments that I didn’t fully appreciate before but will this time!

I hope you have all had a great day!

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