A Difficult Journey: Infertility- Curveball

*I started this post a few weeks back but haven’t been ready to share as I am still digesting and processing all of this news. As the stress sits heavily on me and I can feel the tension in my body I know that it’s time to share. I have learned that sharing throughout this process has made it a lot easier to deal with. I struggle with that fine line of over sharing but feel a major sense of relief when I can share what I’m going through.*

“It seems that you two got very lucky five years ago!”

Those were the very honest very real words spoken to me by my doctor today (Aug. 26th). I can’t tell you how many times throughout this journey I have heard, well maybe the stars and planets were aligned just right that night.” You know what maybe they were. What ever the situation it worked out and I really wish it would be that easy again. Obviously it is not.

I had another fertility doctor tell me that 40% of infertility is related to a problem with the female, 40% with the male, and 20% both. (Give or take on her numbers and take it as you will since she was a terrible doctor.) But Andrew and I fall in that lucky 20% that she mentioned. I think that’s why it stuck with me so well even though we didn’t like her. Anyway, not only do I suffer from stage 3 endometriosis but Andrew has an abnormality in his sperms morphology. The surgery cleaned my endometriosis up and the Lupron did its thing too but endometriosis is still a ticking time bomb. With every cycle it could come back quickly. We (Andrew, my doctor, and I) were hopeful that a second semen analysis on Andrew would show that the first was just a “bad” snapshot. You guessed it, it wasn’t. While his numbers did show some improvement it wasn’t enough for our particular situation. So, now what?

Throughout this entire journey that questions keeps coming back. So now what, what’s the next step? Until yesterday (Aug. 25th) I thought the next step was us trying on our own. We were all so confident that the surgery/Lupron treatment would do the trick. Now my doctor doesn’t think so. He feels like the numbers in the semen analysis didn’t improve enough. The problem with morphology of sperm is that it has a major impact on fertilization. If the sperm head is shaped weird then it cannot penetrate the egg. The problem with endometriosis is it could cause my uterus to not allow an egg to implant. Anyway with our factors and medical intervention we can still possibly have a baby.

The suggestion made to us is to attempt Intrauterine insemination often simply called IUI. We can try on our own as well but IUI will give us a little better of a chance. The IUI process will increase the odds of an egg getting fertilized. (If you want to read more about IUI just google it. Thousands of things will pop up.) I will give you my version of what will happen. Take it as you please and remember I’m not claiming to know it perfectly especially since this wasn’t even in my consideration until now. I didn’t consider it because I didn’t think we would have to go much past surgery. Naive yes, totally human, yes. Anyway, I will have a scan done to check the status of my ovaries and uterus. They will be looking to see if my ovaries are still suppressed and if my uterus looks healthy. Remember the Lupron put me into menopause and the birth-control I’ve been taking is bringing my estrogen level back up. My body is still trying to put itself back together. After the ovary scan we will start HCG injections, start date will depend on what is found during the ovary scan. I will do HCG injections for 7 days. I will be monitored through blood work and scans. When I am about to ovulate they will perform the insemination. I will actually have two inseminations that will take place 24-48 hours apart. Andrews semen sample will go through a wash process before it is used. There are lots of reasons why this is necessary but it helps prevent infection and washes out the weaker sperm. Once the second insemination is finished we just wait to see if fertilization and implantation occur. I will continue to be monitored during this time as well. Now let me remind you, I’m no expert so I’ve probably got a few things wrong here but I feel like I’ve got the main idea down. I am sure that I have missed something since I have never done this before and things don’t ever seem to be as easy when going through them as they are to read about.

This is not going to be easy. It will most likely take a toll on me in many ways. It will also take its toll on Andrew. The thing is we will get through this. We have a plan of attack and a “line” drawn for when enough is enough. If IUI is not successful for us and we don’t get pregnant when we try on our own then that’s it for us. It makes me sad to think or ever admit that truth but the reality is we already have one amazing little boy. We have no idea what will happen or what is in store for us but we are hopeful and positive and happy with whatever the outcome may be.

I go to the doctor September 15th to begin this next step in the journey. I’m nervous, excited, anxious, hopeful, confident and completely scared out of my mind. It wouldn’t be a major part of this journey if I were feeling any differently.

One thing I have realized through this infertility journey is that when things seem to be going in one direction it isn’t out of the ordinary for it to completely change course. It is best to just cry out the stress it causes then put your game face back on and adjust the plan.

I went to the doctor two days ago for a look at my ovaries and uterus. My ovaries are still suppressed and there is a blood clot in my uterus. Once again things seemed to be going one way and now they are going somewhere else. I cannot start the IUI process until my body is ready. I stopped taking my birth-control and am waiting impatiently for my bleed to come so that I can hopefully pass this clot. It isn’t a large one probably the size of a marble or smaller and should pass on its own. I am going back to the doctor on Monday so they can see if the clot has passed; if it hasn’t or looks any differently than it did on Tuesday we will create a new plan. I was not surprised that something was “wrong” but I had no clue what it was. I have been feeling like something wasn’t right but I had no idea that I had a clot. The good thing is we will have another paycheck before we have to start paying for all the meds and everything else that comes along with IUI. Looking on the bright side right! 😉 Hoping to pass this clot soon and move on to the next step whatever it ends up being.

 

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Endometriosis: Treatment- My Lupron Experience

After my endometriosis surgery back in January 2015 I was told that I needed to do a 6 month treatment of Lupron to help clean up both my endometriosis and my adenomyosis. I went for it with lots of different emotions but knowing that it was our best and only chance of having another baby. That was the purpose of the lupron anyway so that we can have another baby and no matter how crazy it made me I wouldn’t change that I did it. Now here it is September and I finished my lupron treatment 7 weeks ago. I blogged about my experience while on lupron here and there. I tried to give an update on how I was feeling and doing with each monthly injection throughout my treatment. Now that my treatment is actually over and I am feeling back to normal I have a few more things I want to share, mostly for anyone else who is currently taking Lupron for endometriosis or any other reason but also to share how truly difficult this treatment was for me. I’m being very transparent here, more so than I ever have been.

I was seriously not my normal self while on lupron. I was avoiding people. I had a super short fuse, shorter than normal. I lost sight of what was important and how important people were to me. I didn’t want to leave my house. I stopped going to the gym to my favorite workout class just because I didn’t want to face people. It is quite possible that I was bordering the line of slight depression. All the things that were becoming me were not me at all.

If I would have noticed how terrible it was back in March just a months into my treatment I would have taken the necessary steps to fix it. I must admit that this post should have made me realize how off my game I was becoming. Instead it took me until June to admit that I needed something extra to help me get through the last few months of the treatment. My doctor gave me a prescription for zoloft to help me relax a little. It was a really small dose and I only took it for a little over a month but let me tell you, if I could do it all over again I would have started it sooner. I should have started taking it back in March. I was being really stubborn and headstrong about the entire situation. For the first couple of days I felt like I had completely checked out and I was just going through the motions. It only took three days and I was feeling really good. I had a new appreciation for everything but most importantly for Blake. He could be a kid without me getting extremely irritated. Without taking this medication the last month and a half on lupron would have been the hardest part.

I also have to say that having the support system that I do made getting through the treatment easier. Andrew was the best throughout this entire process. He constantly supported my madness and assured me that I wasn’t being that bad (even when I was). He helped me maintain my sanity at home and was understanding about what the lack of estrogen was really doing to me. My family and friends offered constant support through, prayers, shoulders to lean on, encouraging words and unconditional love. I was a total bitch sometimes but that didn’t ever alter their support. A few friends that are here in Tulsa really helped me by forcing me to hang out with them or by allowing me to just bring Blake over for a play date and us just sitting there enjoying the sounds of kids playing. Megan and Stephanie you girls seriously helped me keep some sanity and I am forever grateful for both of you! Through the use of hashtags on social media I also found someone who was a month ahead of me in the Lupron treatment at the same doctors office. Connecting with Margret even though we haven’t actually met in person was so great! Hopefully someday soon we can get together, especially since I am no longer avoiding people! I am so thankful for everyone who reached out and offered so much encouragement because it always seemed to be perfectly timed.

My advise to anyone who is considering taking lupron or actually taking it now is

  • don’t let your pride get in the way
  • take your vitamins daily or twice daily they do help a lot
  • take whatever your doctor offers you to help make this process easier
  • listen to your body, this medication is wrecking your body to help you but make sure you listen to it
  • accept help when it is offered
  • don’t stop doing the things you love
  • the menopause will go away eventually, hang in there
  • eat healthy and drink tons of water, it makes a different in daily life but the difference is huge while on the lupron
  • do everything in your power to have sex with your husband more often than you want to (The problem is that it gets uncomfortable, and you become uninterested a direct result of your estrogen dropping; the thing is sex is an important part of your relationship so find a way that you two can make it work. Do it!)
  • thank your husband every chance you get for putting up with you (he deserves it)

Now that I am almost finished with my birth control, we are ready to move on to the next step in this process. I am excited about what is to come for us. Most of all I am excited that I am pain free and having normal cycles. My interest in people is back, my interest in my favorite activities is back, my sex drive is back and my patience (mostly) is back! My hope is now that the remainder of this process goes smoothly and quickly for us.

Happy Thursday friends thanks for reading!

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1st Day of School- 4 Year Old Class

This week was back to school week for Blake. On Monday we went to open house/meet the teacher whatever you want to call it. Then school actually started on Wednesday. He will go three days a week this year. Technically speaking he is old enough to go to public school Pre-K this year, but we decided that the four year old program at the same school he attended last year was the right place for him.DSCF6631

On Monday while I filled out paper work Blake was given a journal to decorate. They use this journal everyday when they get into class to draw a picture and practice their handwriting. Anyway he was supposed to put stickers randomly all over the front of it. He just sat there and refused (in a calm quiet way) to put any stickers on his journal because the teacher didn’t give him any letter B stickers. I tried to convince him that he didn’t have to put his name but just put stickers and if you know our boy you know he wasn’t having that! I got him a different sheet that had a B on it so that he could decorate his journal. He used a few letters from both sheets to put his name on it! He really wanted to do Swindell but I told him he had to save letters for the other kids because he already used two sheets and all the other kids only got to use one. He also requested that I take the extra “I” off but I insisted it would be fine. His journal cover is simply his name and one extra letter while all the other kids journals are covered with random letters. To me this says a lot about his personality!
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This year is going to be so much fun for him and his teachers seem to be just as excited as the kids are. They sent home “homework” for us to complete and a special night before school book with “magic glitter” in it. It made Blake so excited about the first day and he also enjoyed doing his homework! I think his “Owl” about me turned out pretty cute! His favorites sheet was fun too!

DSCF6613IMG_0714If you ask Blake you can’t have an “about me” poster without including your best friend. I couldn’t agree more!

Wednesday was the actual first day of school so we have our obligatory first day of school pictures!

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We couldn’t let the day get started without getting a picture of these two best friends! When Ian came into the classroom Blake kept saying “Ian, Ian over here!” He pulled out the chair next to him and said, “Ian I got a seat for you, sit here!”

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He had a great first day of school. When I asked him to tell me about his day he didn’t really offer up much information. I went with my normal method of questioning that forces an answer other than nothing. What was your favorite thing you did at school today? What was your least favorite or what was something you didn’t like very much? He finally told me that his favorite thing was playing outside two times and he didn’t really like writing in his journal that much. I was so curious about his day I ended up breaking down the day into parts to ask questions. I couldn’t help wanting to know what my boy was up to all day! Turns out he had a really great day and I think he is going to love the school year!

Tuesday while we were out grabbing the last few things we needed before school started I asked Blake if he thought we should do something for his teachers as a welcome back to school. He said “yeah lets get them a card that says, good luck teaching us this year” I laughed because he was so proud of his idea and he had good intentions even if it did seem like he was saying “good luck because we are going to be difficult!” I did a quick Pinterest search to save the day and found this idea. I loved it and the teachers did too. I mean who doesn’t love sharpies.DSCF6622

Today Blake is at school and I can’t help but wonder what they are doing at various points throughout the day. I’m sure they are probably eating lunch right now or getting ready to. I can’t wait to see how his day went today especially since when I dropped him off this morning he informed me that he just loves to be cranky sometimes and today he is cranky! Haha love that boy of ours!

I hope you are all having a wonderful Friday and that you have a great weekend!

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A Beautiful Weekend

After being home for two weeks from vacation Blake and I were away from home for four days again. We started our weekend Thursday! Let me start by saying that this weather is incredible. How is it possible that Oklahoma is having fall like temps in August? The weather made our weekend even more enjoyable and was perfect for my cousins outdoor wedding.

Thursday my parents came to Tulsa to pick Blake and I up. We went with them to Midwest City so that we could visit with family that had arrived from out of town for the wedding that would take place Saturday. Thursday was also my moms birthday. We went down to Bricktown in Oklahoma City to walk around for a while. They have a new putt-putt course right by the river so we had to play! We ended a great day with a huge family dinner. A few of us snuck away from the dinner and went to Braum’s for ice cream, so fun!IMG_0601 IMG_0603

Ice cream group below: Great Aunt Betty, cousin Whitney, cousin Madie, Aunt Tina, Blake and I

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Friday morning I was able to finally go visit one of my friends, Cassidy, who lives in OKC. She had a baby back in May and I hadn’t been to visit yet. I was so glad we were able to spend a few hours together and that I got to get some baby snuggles in! Our boys had a great time playing together too. They were so cute! (Blake, Pax, Holly)

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Friday night was rehearsal dinner and rehearsal for the wedding. There were so many family members and friends there to kick of the celebration for the bride and groom but my favorite were the ring bearer and flower girl! Seriously how cute are they!IMG_0637

Saturday was the big day! We helped set up for the wedding in the morning, then it was time to get ready for the wedding. The wedding was at the Harn Homestead in OKC. It is a beautiful venue. All the decorations and lay out for everything was great. It was obvious that Daniel and Tiffany put a lot of thought into it. It was fun to be a part of the set up and watch the museum transform into a beautiful venue for a stunning wedding. We were so honored that Blake was able to be a part of their big day and that we were there to celebrate the love they have for one another. Welcome (officially) to the family Tiffany!

Tiffany was a beautiful bride. I can’t help but point out how handsome our boy is though! Enjoy a few shots from the wedding. Blakes pre wedding photo shoot, the littles in the wedding party, Tiffany being walked down the isle by her brother and the couple listening to toast during the reception.

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I really should have taken pictures of more of the details but I didn’t. Here is a shot of the dessert table because I worked hard setting it up. Then Andrew got this great shot of the barn!

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Sunday we all (26 of us) met at Cafe 501 on Classen Curve to enjoy brunch and celebrate Alyssa’s 21st birthday. I just have to give Cafe 501 a little shout out. They were so great accommodating our huge party even though we were a little late for our reservation. Brunch at 9:45am after a really late night proved to be more difficult that we thought! The staff was great and honestly we couldn’t have asked for anything better. So basically what I’m saying is, go to Cafe 501. The food is great, the drinks were yummy and the service is excellent even with a huge crowd. After brunch it was time for almost everyone to head home including us. We hung out for a little while but we finally made the short drive back to Tulsa. I love spending time with family but there really is no place like home!

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The weekend was really beautiful and spent with a lot of people we love.

 

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Vacation- Minnesota Adventures Part 1

I finally got all my pictures from our trip uploaded over the weekend. Better late than never right!

Our vacation lasted from July 25th to August 6th. The first 3-4 days we spent in Chicago, you can read about that here. Then we went on to Minnesota. We arrived in Minnesota on July 29th in the afternoon and Andrew left August 2nd while Blake and I stayed an extra 4 days. Our trip to Minnesota was packed with so much fun that I had to split it into two post!

Anyway so when we got to Minnesota we went to my dads cousins house to stay. They put up with us stringing our junk all over their house for a full 7 days and we loved every minute of it. I mean really Blake wanted nothing to do with Andrew and I as soon as we got there. He was all about Uncle Tommy and Auntie Sheila! It made our vacation time that much more relaxing and enjoyable; Blake was comfortable like he was at home. He decided that he wanted to stay with them forever but I just couldn’t leave him there 😉 This picture is from the morning we left. (Yes everyone was super tired because we stayed up late and woke up super early!) IMG_0283

 

We went to Minnesota for a wedding and we were way overdue for a visit. I hadn’t been in 13 or so years which meant Andrew had never been there with me. Obviously it was Blake’s first trip. Our week there looked like this…

  • Wednesday– relax, catching up with everyone and eating a home cooked meal!
  • Thursday– YMCA workout with some of the cousins for me, a day at Bunker Beach, then a huge family “reunion” dinner
  • Friday– another workout with cousins, Mall of America, Wedding Fun
  • Saturday– family brunch, Twins Game
  • Sunday– Andrew left to work in Atlanta, Mall of America, family dinner.

I wish I would have taken a picture or two when we went to Bunker Beach. It wasn’t actually a beach but a water park. They had the coolest kid swimming area I have ever been to. They had a lazy river, wave pool and slides as well. Here is the link to see how neat the place was, the pictures do a good job of capturing the place and it looks that good in person! Blake was just a little to short to do anything except for the wave pool and kid area but Andrew and I got to go down the big slides a couple of times while Blake hung out with Tommy and Sheila!

We went to the Mall of America, or if you are from Minnesota the MOA, twice. We didn’t get to do enough shopping or ride the rides when we went Friday so another trip Sunday was necessary. Blake loved the Lego store there just like it was his first time to ever go to one. He got two new sets of legos and made his own lego people. We ate at the Hard Rock when we went Friday which is why we didn’t get enough shopping in, that and because I wanted to go workout first. Any way I ended up getting a black summer dress, some jeans, and Blake a Vikings hat. Blake rode a few rides with Macky & Logan (our cousins) and his Papa and Uncle Tommy. Blake still says his favorite part about the mall were the Lego and Disney stores! DSCF6312

The wedding we went to was for my dads cousin Shannon. It was a wedding that we were all proud to attend and so happy that it was finally possible. My great Aunt and Uncle were able to finally walk their daughter down the isle since same-sex marriages are now recognized as a legal marriage. I have to tell you the wedding was perfect! There were two people in love vowing to spend the rest of their lives taking care of one another, family, friends, dancing, drinks, and food. It was a night full of celebration for Shannon and Kris and I am so glad we were able to be there. Sidney (Shannon’s daughter) gave a wonderful speech. Macky (Shannon’s daughter) organized a dance with family and a few friends. They danced to Thriller and it was hilarious!

Blake got to be the guest DJ and he also passed out on the couch outside. He danced his little heart out all night right along with the rest of us. I hope you enjoy these shots from the wedding and reception. (Thank you Sheila for letting me borrow some of your pictures to add to this post!)11800361_960911117280501_5937925982503704028_n 11831640_960911227280490_8452119748343609154_nDSCF6321 DSCF6379 IMG_0183 IMG_0235I’m serious when I say that I have some beautiful women in my family. Just look at the picture above, it proves it! This isn’t even all of them.

Saturday, which was the day after the wedding we had a huge family brunch then went to the Twins game. They won! We had 35 (+/- a few) family members there together. It was fun, I really wish we had a professional baseball team closer to us!IMG_0184 IMG_0186 IMG_0198 IMG_0199 IMG_0205 IMG_0225

 

That concludes part 1 of our trip to Minnesota! Part 2 coming soon!

 

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A Little of Everything

As I sit here on this wonderful Tuesday afternoon trying to recover from what I am calling a vacation hangover I realized that it is time for an update. I’ve thrown in a few random pictures from vacation too!

My travel attire! I got everything from Runway Seven Tulsa (Check them out on Instagram)

My travel attire! I got everything from Runway Seven Tulsa (Check them out on Instagram)

My boys at the navy pier.

My boys at the navy pier.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lets start with my health. If you are a guy and don’t want to read about my girl issues skip down two paragraphs! Other than the weight I gained while on vacation I feel amazing. I finished my first pack of birth control today so I start the second one tomorrow. I started my period on Saturday! I don’t think I have ever been excited to start but since I wasn’t sure if I would or not I was happy that it came along. I’m also happy that it hasn’t been nearly as heavy or painful as they have been in the past. I think it is even going to be shorter than I was used to dealing with. I’m feeling that having a period with the birth control is a sign that my body will bounce back quickly from the Lupron. Just one more month on birth control to get my hormones on track better and we can start thinking about trying for a baby. So exciting to think that it is that close! I know the possibility of it taking a while is real but the simple part that we have the chance is keeping a smile on my face.

I was stressing about the entire process of trying to have a baby but the closer it gets the more accepting and welcoming to the process I am becoming. As soon as my next cycle begins I will prepare to start taking ovulation tests at home. I will test twice a day starting on day 8 and testing through day 20. The reason I test for so many days is because I need to 1) make sure I am ovulation again after the Lupron and 2) my ovulation timing hasn’t exactly been normal in the past! I know there is a chance that I won’t start ovulating again for a few months but if I don’t test I won’t know. I’ll go into more detail of our process for trying later just so you can see how it can easily become work instead of pleasure.

At New Glarus

At New Glarus

Now on to school. Kids are going back to school every day around here lately. Blake doesn’t start until the 26th of August and we have open house the 24th. I spent a little time yesterday making sure I have all of his paperwork together and the things I can fill out at home are filled out. I think he is ready to go back to school but I’m torn. I love having him home with me everyday but I know he needs all the social and academic things he gets at school. I also had a little bit of a reality check this morning. I realized that if I was working Blake would actually be starting Pre-K this year. A bitter sweet moment for me.

The idea of leaving Blake at a public school with a teacher (who was once me) scares the crap out of me. I can’t put my finger on why exactly but I can’t even stomach it right now. I am not nearly as worried about him at the school he is at now. Except that I plan on making Andrew go with me to drop him off the first day so that I don’t cry! I am still working through these feelings about public/big schools and probably will until I have made a final decision on where he will go next year. I’ll keep you updated because I will have plenty of time to think through these feelings more carefully when school starts. 😉

Swindell family at Shannon and Kris' wedding.

Swindell family at Shannon and Kris’ wedding.

Finally, my vacation hangover. We had such a great time visiting with family in Minnesota and visiting Chicago. A Minnesota Adventure post will happen later this week. We were away from home for 13 days and I have been home for 5 days today. I am determined to get back into a workout routine and back on track with my eating habits. Just the thought of cookies, ice cream or junk food gives me a mix of “oh I want that now, and I’m going to puke.” I am also a little more tired than I have been but I got to sleep in everyday but one on vacation. Hints the vacation hangover. My body is still trying to catch up to reality.

To help me drop my added pounds and get back on track I decided to stick to the 21 day fix workouts and closely to the eating plan. I need to drop the weight before my cousin gets married in 11 days! Today is day 2 and I haven’t worked out yet but I will as soon as I finish up here. I have eaten much better the last two days so far and as long as I stick to my menu I will be fine. Oh and avoid the cravings for junk but I can and will do it. Be on the look out for my muscles soon! Haha!

Target Field where we watched the Twins Win!!!

Target Field where we watched the Twins Win!!!

I hope you are all having a great week so far. Thanks for stopping by and reading!

 

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Vacation- Chicago Adventures

I have been a little absent lately because we have been on vacation. Blake and I are actually still on vacation while Andrew is in Atlanta working for the week. My mind was on vacation the entire week before we actually left! A week ago today we left our first destination which was Chicago.

We spent 3 days in Chicago which wasn’t long enough but was good for us on this trip. Blake was really worn out from all the walking so he slept hard every night! We had a few things that we really wanted to do and eat while in Chicago and we did most of them!

  • Navy Pier √
  • Deep Dish Pizza √
  • Italian Beef √
  • Cubs game at Wrigley Field √
  • The Field Museum to see Sue the dinosaur √
  • Architectural Boat Tour √
  • Fireworks on Lake Michigan √
  • Chicago Dog √
  • Dylan’s Candy Store √
  • City Beach √
  • Xoco- a Rick Bayless Restaurant √
  • The Lego Store √
  • Visited a Fire Station √

We did so much but in reality there was still so much we could have done. A trip back is going to have to happen someday! We did find a fun restaurant that had over a hundred beers on tap called Howells and Hood. Blake’s little sliders were the best he had anywhere.

Buildings and Skyline
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The Field MuseumDSCF6180 DSCF6194 - Version 2City BeachDSCF6228 - Version 2 DSCF6237 - Version 2 DSCF6241 - Version 2Wrigley FieldDSCF6249 DSCF6277 - Version 2DSCF6272 - Version 3The Lego Store
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We had such a great time on our trip with just the three of us. It’s not very often that we get to go somewhere new to all of us. We loved our little family vacation and I am looking forward to so many more!

When we left Chicago we rented a car to continue our vacation. We made a few stops in Wisconsin on our way to Minnesota. In Wisconsin we stopped at New Glarus brewery for a little beercation then we stayed the night in Madison. Andrew and I are going to go back to Madison for a visit without Blake so we can act like college kids! Ha!DSCF6299 - Version 2

We arrived in Minnesota on Wednesday (July 29th) and are still having the best time. I’ll update about our time in Minnesota when we leave in a few days.

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A Difficult Journey: Infertility- Big Day

Today is a big day for us and our infertility journey. It is post Lupron pelvic exam day. Yesterday I wasn’t feeling anxious or excited or much of anything really. Today I’m nervous! I want to be excited but I’m almost a nervous excited.

I’m scared they are going to start the exam and find that the Lupron didn’t work. I’m worried that I put myself through hell over the last 6 months for nothing. I’m unsure about what will happen if the pelvic exam comes back with results different than I want to hear. I’m excited to hear that the Lupron worked, that the hell I’ve been through was worth every second. I’m excited to hear that after two months on birth control we can start trying to have a baby on our own. I’m ready to know that the hard part of our journey is almost over!

Last night I was feeling like this appointment didn’t mark then end for us. Today I feel as if it’s a turning point (hopefully) in this journey. We are in a better position medically than we were  a few months ago.

Now fast forward to hours after my appointment since it was this morning at 10:15. We waited forever to see the doctor. I’ve never had to wait that long there so I was slightly annoyed and Andrew was ready to leave. When I finally went back my exam took only minutes. He asked if I was still waking up in the middle of the night to pee. You know what I haven’t been. The dang endometriosis was causing me to wake up by pressing on my bladder. Sign one that the Lupron worked. While looking at my cervix he said “cervix looks great. I can tell your estrogen is really low.” Sign two that the Lupron worked. During the pelvic exam he pushed on all the different places and in one place in particular wanted to know if I was having any discomfort. No! Sign three that the Lupron worked! Basically what I’m saying is all signs point in the direction of the Lupron working! Such a relief. The combination of surgery and 6 months of Lupron worked just as he said it would!

Now what’s the next step? Birth control for 8 weeks. It will help my hot flashes go away, yay! It will also bring my estrogen level back up. I started working on getting my groove back today! 🙂 haha! Once I finish my birth control I will go in for one more check up. My doctor says that I should start ovulating again by December possibly sooner.

That was the not so cool part about the appointment. It always seems like the time line I have in my head and his time line are months apart. When I say months I mean it! I have gone from thinking we could try to get pregnant immediately (before surgery), to thinking we could try in the summer (before Lupron treatment started), then thinking possibly fall (during treatment), and now, now it’s seeming like it will be winter. Ugh winter. I’m trying not to get hung up on the fact that this process takes a long time and focus more on the fact that we have the chance to get pregnant again. That’s what the game plan has been the entire time. I just need to be patient with the rest of the process. I need to take care of my body and just wait. There is nothing else I can do!

While I’m waiting on my body to get back to functioning like a typical 30 year old woman’s body should I’m going to focus more on the overall health of my body. Healthy clean eating, working out hopefully pain free and enjoying life! I know I say that a lot but the truth is I have to constantly tell myself that over and over. I have to remind myself of the goal and keep my thoughts positive and healthy.

You know something, I’m actually starting to get excited about the idea of being pregnant again! So many moments that I didn’t fully appreciate before but will this time!

I hope you have all had a great day!

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Weekend Adventures #2

Another fun summer weekend is in the books! I love weekends that leave me feeling rejuvenated and ready to attack the week ahead. This weekend did just that.

Friday my parents came to Tulsa so mom and I could go to An Affair of the Heart Tulsa. We hadn’t been in 7 years which was when Andrew and I first moved here. This year it was so much better and I was glad we went! We had a fun day shopping and found some really good stuff. I got the cutest Oklahoma hat from the Southern Bling Boutique. I wore it Saturday and got tons of compliments! I love it! Then I scored two cute summer outfits from The Bedford Boutique for only $10 each! I wore the romper on Sunday and loved it but of course failed to get a picture of me in it! Mom bought me this cute high low dress to wear to a wedding we are attending in MN in a few weeks. We also found my friend Sara working at the Wild Prairie Bloom booth. Her friend makes these headbands and they are awesome! I got the black lace one and a thin light blue “shimmery” one. If you need a good headband check out her Etsy shop!

My $10 summer oufits from The Bedford Boutique.

My dress and romper from The Bedford Boutique.

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Super cute dress for a wedding but easy to wear anywhere!

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Love this Oklahoma hat from Souther Bling Boutique

Sara and I

Sara and I in our Wild Prairie Bloom lace headbands.

Saturday was a normal baseball season day. We had an early game which allowed us to do more! Went shopping for a wedding shower gift then hit the pool for a few hours. My parents came to the pool with us and it was fun for them to see where we have been spending a lot of our time this summer. If you are looking for a clean public pool check out Forrest Ridge swimming pool. We love it but wish it was a little closer to our house!Blake

Sunday we went to lunch with friends then Life Church for the first time. We went to the Jenks campus and their movie for at the movies was Star Wars. Blake was so excited then immediately scared when we got inside. It was sad but cute. They had people actually dressed up as Star Wars characters and had an R2D2 that was controlled by a remote. The team there did a great job on the decorations! Thanks again Soto Family for inviting us to join you and for driving our direction so Blake could see the Star Wars theme.

Blake, Kohen, and Skylar

Blake, Kohen, and Skylar

Blake unsure of the Yoda statue.

Blake unsure of the Yoda statue.

We also did our usual menu planning and Andrew helped me this week! I’m excited about every meal we decided on this week. Besides being really good, all the meals are also healthy which my body is begging for!IMG_9763.JPG

I’m just going to go ahead and include today in my recap because it was a really good Monday! My friend Megan and I got to sneak away and take a mid day “mom break” to get pedicures. (We got to hang out two days in a row! Never happens.) We were both feeling a little guilty for leaving our kids today but got over it and enjoyed ourselves! Now we both have pretty feet for our upcoming vacations!IMG_9786.JPG

I’m so thankful for my neighbor who babysits Blake for me. She is great with him and he always has so much fun with her which makes it easier on me when I leave him. Madie you rock!

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I hope you have had a easy, productive, enjoyable Monday as well.  Have a great week!

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